Just another Terrible night out...
So I'd decided not to go out anymore until maybe christmas or end of december, but seems like this kind of decision will never acheived in my life. Just what I made up my mind last week, and now I'm out again to drink. I finished my work, went home as usual, mate been calling and texting couple of times to update what they been up to. First, I'm still refused to go out to stick with what I'd decided earlier, but still, I'm such a "soft-hearted man", as expected, I went out with my little of pocket money that I just earned from my part time work earlier.
Everything is actually fine at started until my best friend turn to be really good to me today and says not going to be mean to be tonight cause he dont want same thing happen twice (When he drunk, he'll turn to like a mental or something, just those you seen in the movie, when someone drank too much they'll start to hit their wife/kids) Well, it did happened once before because he started hit me on the street like a sand bag during the way home. I let it go that time because i know he is drunk and he is my best mate.
Same thing happend twice, I knew it nothing gonna ended up good every time when he try to be nice today, well this time as well. he turned up to be a mental once he left the casino(the last place where we drank) and start saying mean shit to me, obviously I'm not happy with it at all, so before i went in to my flat,(I don't have my key on me) I was try to ask him, "hey, do you want to talkabout it?" turned out i got locked out outside and Can't get in because I dont have the key. I been sitting under the cold and creul strong wind for about 2 hours, under 5 degree, and staert panic who can i ask for help? Phone is running out of battery which is really pissed me off. So i Cant contact anyone so thinking to go to uni which open at 7am.
Wait for longer and went to uni and writing this fucking post. Negative thinking are surrouding my head. Posted some Negative stauts which tuens out there are few friends come and talk and care about me which really calm me down a bit, (Big thanks for those people, I'm happy that I'm still exists in some people heart).
Still, this is pretty annoys me, I do belive that people do spoke their truth once they are drunk, whatever he said to me are seriously mean and kinda broke my heart (kinda gay about this but... whatever, if you're my mate you know I'm not a homo). I do take him is my best mate over and treat him as my best budd all the time since we get along, but seems like it's only what I'm wish for, not the rest. I do always hope people are not come close to me just want to take my advatages, as I mentioned earlier, I 'm pretty easy-convinced person and "soft-hearted man". Seems, the cruel world had taught me to become stronger, which is good for me. One of my mate, who'd stayed here for about 5 years, had gave me an advice that you shouldn't be so stupid and be over-nice to them, cause at the end, you'll and nothing as return. Whatever he said and came true all the time, and I'm still being a stuborn faggot to trust they'll be nice to me someday. So far, he is still right.
Time and all this thing had taught me to be stronger and not to trusted anyone easily, they may be nice to me today but everything had a price. So whatever it's, sometimes those are things that you really cant afford at all. Friendships are priceless, but at the same time, they are not free as well. Peiople always think that I have a lot of friends, but frankly, there are only a few, that are I'm really appreciates, even until today, and even we never speaks to each other for ages, but I do belive whenever I meet them, we can still have a conversation that last longer than 3 hours at least. Things are changing, but something will still last until the end.
Well, I'm being so helpless and staying at uni at the moment, some people trying to clean up the place and apparantely I'm the only retard who came to uni at 7am in the morning during a saturday, seems really lifelesss, and Hope fully they is not long more to go for library opening hours so that I can sit there and do my coursework or whatever i can do over there.
At the end, This is just another bitching post about my life and people over here, Sorry if i offended anyone here.
Have a nice weekend folks. See ya. x
